Aspiring American

Archive for July, 2010|Monthly archive page

I Adore You…xx

In Uncategorized on July 26, 2010 at 3:00 pm

To adore someone, what does that mean?  To be completely enamored with them, to worship the ground they walk on. To see beauty in them, often times when no one else sees the beauty that you see.  The word “Adore” to me is actually the most romantic word in the global language there is, and it works on me everytime.

I adore many thing though. I adore the way my children listen to me. The way my daughter mothers her daughter, and the way my oldest son works hard for his paycheck.

I also adore the way my friends adore me.

I adore good music, and well written books, and movies.

I adore My Freedom and those who fight for it.

As Frankie Valli says, “My Eyes Adore you”…xx

Complicated? It is What it Is

In Uncategorized on July 22, 2010 at 11:56 pm

Why must we classify everything we do, down to the people in our lives?  Recently it occurred to me that everyone on a social networking site I belong to, Facebook,  seems to be preoccupied with announcing the status of their personal lives. Why should this even matter?  Is it because we have an image to maintain. or possibly because we are a bit insecure?  Sometimes it is a bit of both.  Either way I have decided that social networking sites should have an ” It is What It Is” category. This basically means call it what you want, we do our thing and that’s that. It just works for us , PERIOD

This would work in a non judgmental world,  but we know that is not the case. There is a bitch in every bunch.

Keeping your private life private is a good way to handle this. Not giving a crap and throwing caution to the wind is another, but there is much to be lost, and unfortunately Freedom does come at a cost, ask our soldiers.

I guess in a way we are all victims of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.

Listen To The Children

In Uncategorized on July 20, 2010 at 11:34 pm

Today My beautiful Baby Mama came running to me with tears in her eyes, actually streaming down her face.  She was screaming about the oil killing her lobsters and fish. At first it didn’t dawn on me what she was talking about, until my sister entered the room. Seems My niece is upset by the current events in the Gulf and it’s effects on the wildlife.

I dried her tears, and held her in my arms. We talked about all the wildlife down in the Gulf, and how the Oil Spill has changed the scheme of things down there. She asked me to make her a Facebook Group to help the Gulf  Wildlife.  I made the group for her, and I will admit , for myself too.

We  need to listen to the children, listen to their cries. They our are future., and if we don’t take care of the world they live in now, humanity will cease to exist. Maybe that is why they cry.

It’s Okay To Be Afraid, As Long As You Don’t Hide

In Uncategorized on July 18, 2010 at 8:23 pm

Recently I have been using others for an excuse for my own insecurities and trepidation I am facing at this point in my life.  It is so hard to admit that you are afraid of anything, especially when you are a strong aggressive woman. I am finally ready to admit that I am a tad bit afraid of jumping back into school and a new and challenging career, although it has been a lifelong passion of mine.

Fear of the unknown is not irrational. It is what I do with my fear that makes me sane or insane.

Several years ago I suffered from Agoraphopia. I could not leave my home, I was a prisoner of my own fear. This was the insanity, I hid from my problems rather than facing them and getting better. Until I was sick and tired of living the way I was living, life was full of darkness and seemed hopeless. I don’t wish to ever revisit that point in my life.

I force myself to socialize today, I don’t hide from people at the door. I go out with my friends for karaoke every Friday night. I get up there and sing and have returned to the social butterfly I always have been inside. My friends are so loving and supportive. My friends are my family. They remind me that I am capable of getting through anything, and I do the same for them. We support eachother’s decision’s. They won’t let me hide from myself.

Our time here is too precious to waste. Make the most of it.

A New Chapter Begins

In Uncategorized on July 16, 2010 at 5:30 am

Today a new chapter began in my life. I signed all the necessary papers to attend Broadcasting school. It has taken me along time to get to this point, and this is not a step that I have taken lightly.

I am forty years old and beginning life over, while I am excited I will admit that I am a bit scared. I have been out of the workforce for awhile, I have been at home raising my autistic son Matthew, and concentrating on getting myself well.

I suffered a great deal of abuse during my life and must admit didn’t quite know how to handle it for awhile and became lost in myself.  After realizing I deserved help and finally sought help, my life began to change.  I am able to love myself today, and self love is the most important love of all.

With my new found freedom I am ready to at last become a productive part of society, and try to give back to America what she has been giving me while I could not help myself.

Crossroads-Just Doing It

In Uncategorized on July 13, 2010 at 8:46 pm

Seems for the majority of my life I have done what everyone else has wanted or expected of me. Not to say that I am bucking for Sainthood, believe me, I am anything but perfect. Still I have always done or said what was needed and wanted. I tried to be my father’s daughter, following his wishes learning everything I could about the medical field.  No one can take this knowledge away from me and I am eternally grateful to my father for instilling the importance of education and the need for knowledge and common sense into me. It is an integral part of my foundation. I tried to be a good wife, often times forgiving abuse that should have never been tolerated let alone been forgiven, all the while thinking I was doing it for the children. Lastly I tried to be a Perfect Mother to my children. No one is perfect. I made many mistakes along the way, and for those I am remorseful.  I did the best with what I had, and being sick myself, honestly did not know any better.

Today I do know better. I have had time to heal, and my children know right from wrong. They have all graduated high school. None of them are incarcerated, I am blessed that way.

I stand at a crossroads in my life.  Now that I am in recovery, what do I do with my second chance? Do I spit in God’s Face by wasting it, or do something with it?

I have decided to change my life,  follow my passion, and be me, Lisa Dabrowski.

Second Chances

In Uncategorized on July 12, 2010 at 3:56 pm

Reflecting Back upon my life with complete honesty I can see the mistakes I have made. Am I remorseful? Of course. Can I change the past? No. All I can do is be the best possible person I can possibly be today.

I have been on a year long odyssey. Trying to find funds to return to school. I have been applying for scholarships to subsidize my grants. I would be so eternally grateful for a second chance to return to school and establish a career. To become a productive part of society.

This country was built on second chances, we had a second chance at life when we relocated from England. The Confederacy was given a second chance at life when their mistakes were pointed out and their injustice was made right.

I am thankful everyday that I have been given a second chance at life.

We Learn By Doing

In Uncategorized on July 10, 2010 at 4:14 pm

Yesterday I auditioned for an on air position for a Sports Radio station. They told me they liked me , although they didn’t quite know what they liked about me.

I also took a tour of the Vocational School where the auditions were being held. I have been dreaming of going there since I was a child, when I would see commercials late at night when I had insomnia. I have always been interested in writing and media in all of it’s various forms.

I have a friend who is a producer and he encourages me quite a bit, infact if it wasn’t for my monkeybone I don’t believe I could have survived the past year. He told me that he broke into the business by being offered an internship and it was totally unrelated to what he had went to college for. He is very successful today,  and has had the opportunity to travel the world, and meet people the average person wouldn’t meet.

I guess what I am at getting at is you have to jump in feet first and get them wet, submerge yourself if you want to learn anything. The key to anything is passion.  I have been a writer all of my life, as well as an entertainer, it runs through my veins. I will never give up, no matter how many times I get knocked down. No one should give up, Monkeybone picked me up and dusted my butt off whether he knows it or not, and there are plenty more out there like him. Good people, who believe in eachother, willing to believe in you until you can believe in yourself.

I believe in you America. Together we can do anything.

Cleveland and Where it Went Wrong

In Uncategorized on July 9, 2010 at 11:51 am

The Cleveland Cavaliers placed all their hopes and dreams on LeBron James allowing him to rum the show. They forgot the importance of Teamwork.  There is no ” I ” in the word TEAM. One man can not carry a team to a championship. it is too much work and too much pressure.

Cleveland has spoiled LeBron James since his induction to the NBA at the tender age of eighteen, now a twenty five year old man, why should Cleveland expect anything less from The King? In his mind he has given his youth to Cleveland without receiving the coveted Championship.  Which is what we strive for in our careers and in life anyway. to be the best at what we do, isn’t it?

Maybe if Cleveland hadn’t spoiled LeBron quite so much and cultivated more talent this would not be happening. Will Cleveland survive? Pretty sure it will. The Cavs were there before King James and they will be there after King James.

By The People, For The People

In Uncategorized on July 4, 2010 at 5:40 pm

By The People, For The People.  The Freedom, and self awareness, coupled with extreme responsibility that must have went into that statement.

To no longer be ruled by a Monarchy, under a religious rule that told you how and when you could think and believe. To have a say now in the laws that you lived by, for YOUR voice to be heard.

Are we living up to the ideals set forth in the Declaration of Independence? Do we make our voice heard, or do we sit at home and complain about the way our president and congress do their jobs? Our government is a Democracy ran by the people, for the people.  Congressmen and Senators depend on us to make our needs and wants known, so that they can be OUR voice in Washington D.C.

It is time we all do our part.  By the people, For the people.